2016: 039 Holiday Gift Idea #2

This is me, the bully on the bus, snatching your winter cap.

“What the fuck is this? Acrylic? 15% Wool? Damn, dude you gotta get yourself together. Respect yourself. You still eating the Filet-o-fish? Didn’t think so. So why you dressed like you’re an everyday child?”

I get it. You’re gonna tell me, “SlashGreggers, I’m running through 10-15 beanies per winter. Those wool ones are itchy as hell. And I’m getting these for free from Canadian Tire.”

As I said, I get it. but now it’s time to step up in the world get yourself a finer watchmen. And yes it’s going to itch for a few days, but it’s gonna be fine once you’ve let enough your face skin oils soak in. That’s really the bitter irony of wool hats, When you finally care enough to buy a nice one, your skin isn’t greasy enough to quickly combat the itch. But when your skin and your lifestyle are pure grease, easily able to nullify the scratchy scratch, there is no way you’re springing for a wool cap. You’ve got filet-o-fishes to buy.

I believe that’s called the French Canadian Paradox.

Anyway, once you know you need to be pulling wool over your ears, consider digging into any of these styles:

Coal makes a proper wool hat. I mean almost proper. They still have that twenty-ten slouch stitched into the back. Screen Shot 2016-12-01 at 12.03.04 PM

And if your dedicated to to keeping it shred-ready, check this Burton Bearing domepiece. It’s technically a wool-nylon blend but it’s close enough. Plus, the style of that thing demands you get a larger vessel.

If you really want to keep it Canadian and low key, I suggest this Reigning Champ bad boy. Simple style, small logo and once your flip the exchange rate on this one, it’s best way to slide into 100% wool.

Screen Shot 2016-12-01 at 12.03.32 PM

Maybe you can’t get down with wool. Maybe you’re fancy and considering some cashmere in that knit.

The folks over at Aether are willing to take your hard-earned money and put you in a low-key, equally soft and warm cap. And according to their website, it’s designed for city/ mountains / snow, so it’s supe vers.

Screen Shot 2016-12-01 at 12.03.47 PM

I guess there is also alpaca, but you gotta tread lightly with hairs of that beast. Sure, you’ll be warm, but you run a real risk of looking like a Peruvian kookaramus.

So save those acrylic saggers for wearing under your helmet my friend. The rest of the time, try to be a respectable person.


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