2016:019 Of Conspiracy Theories and Snow Machines

1th The Zodiac Chiller

I’m a huge fan of conspiracy theories. It’s not that I believe them. It’s about the enjoyment I get from hearing them explained. And one of the best ones happening right now is Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer. FFFFFFFFuck, do I love this one. Mostly because a key element in it is time travel. Totally legit.

But something that has been hanging out in the back of my brain since T Cruz burst on to the scene. I’ve always felt that he and Kelly Clark might be the same person. I can’t really back it up with much but these pics. First, we have a picture of Kelly Clark placing third in the US Open last weekend.

Kelly-Cruz

And then we have an image of Ted Cruz being an asshole

ted cruz kelly clark 3

Plus, they both have a real thing for jesus and hate the poor.

Ultimately you need to decide for yourself, but at some point you have to wonder if “Ted Cruz’s” rejection of climate change policies was an attempt to end snowboarding and get out on top of the halfpipe game. Where’s Loose Change on this one?

2st I Always Thought St. Paul was Better Than This

Snow machines are so fucking annoying to me.

If you’re going to watch anything on the Red Bull channel right now, make it this. She kills it in that print blazer.

3nd. I’ve always wanted to live in a barn.

3 Comments

on “2016:019 Of Conspiracy Theories and Snow Machines
3 Comments on “2016:019 Of Conspiracy Theories and Snow Machines
    • How did I miss the publication of this book?

      Side note: People who bought the Kelly Clark book also bought Gifted Hands, the Ben Carson Story.

  1. Side note on side note: That book was made into a movie starring Cuba Gooding Jr and produced by the pharma company Johnson & Johnson.

    My fav bit of the Kelly Clark book:

    In 2007, she broke her collarbone. Kelly’s doctor told her she didn’t displace it, but it would still take six weeks to heal. Needless to say, it was a setback. In addition to the pain, Kelly found she couldn’t do simple tasks such as cutting her food, combing her hair, or even getting dressed. She was injured on a Sunday, and on Tuesday she attended a faith conference.
    The speaker at the conference asked is anyone there was experiencing pain. Kelly’s arm was throbbing. “I stood up, and the people around me prayed for me. And [the speaker] said, ‘Do something you couldn’t do.’ and I was able to raise my arm about eight inches.” Kelly thanked God for the immediate improvement. “I literally lifted up my arm, and I just started crying and screaming because my collarbone had gotten miraculously healed. And it wasn’t just a bit healed – it was 100 percent healed.”

    Magic.

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