It’s time to get back to snowboards. We need to do it now because winter is essentially on the outs over here.
So let’s count the days, 1…2…3…nearly 60 days of snow we had this year. Simps are going to be all pumped about this crap winter/early spring combo. Simps act like this doesn’t set the stage for a summer drought, an onslaught of bugs and mosquitos, and 3 months of mud. Fucking simps. Trump ass simps.
Part 1: A Spring Refresher
Anyway, there is still plenty of time to get out of the midwest. If you’re me, you’re going to sneak out to a few higher elevations yet this season. And if you’re like my dude Colby, you’re looking for some new goggs, because your Spy Scoops are finally too scratched for you to even see through. Colby’s no chump, he’s not going to scoop those dumb-dumb Supremes that dropped last year. That’s not his flash.
But maybe that is your style?
And now you’re just bummed you missed those Supremes, with your mom shaking her head the entire time she’s driving you to your snowboarding lessons. She’s not mad, she’s just disappointed. Because you overpaid for some Smith entry-level goggs and because you have no fucking clue who Barbara Kruger is. Get it together, Orion. She’s also a little bummed she named you Orion, but that’s on her.
But, fear not Orion, it’s time for you to get some cracklins with a little more flavor.
Yo! I don’t know shit about these goggles. But they’re up in the Midnight Studios web shop. And at $100 they are the least expensive piece in their collection. There really isn’t much else going off at retail, but peep the Midnight Studes IGs and you can see, they def know the on-snow market. I mean their whole style falls in line with what Little Andy Troubles is up to. You know that look right, Orion? The whole “jeunesse dorée in a tenement house” vibe. Bunch of people thinking the art is the key to understanding the culture. Never flipping that privileged gaze. Unaware that the culture might be the key to the art. Seems right up your alley, Orion, my man. Now pinch a Poor Ricardo from mom’s account and be well-freshed by the time spring break rolls around. Fuck you, Ori.
Part 2: Other Option
Unlike our friend Orion, you may be somewhat ready for spring. Maybe you were at ISPO and you caught sight of that One Wheel. While Orion and his crew were all pushing about on so-called hoverboards and shitty goggles, you spent a couple weeks in your bedroom going F. Coppola on some vape-vids, 7 seconds a pop. The paypal account deep and your about to take delivery of one of these:
It’s cool, it’s inspired by a sweet power turn. Privilege gazeing.
Colby once bought a MountainBoard.