2016:005 Coffee and .gifs and the Future

12 days. 12 days and I’ll be in California, blasting with people from the enetz. Just to clarify, 2002 mom, I’m meeting people from the internet and going to a third location. Should be good!

1th Until Then

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Until then, I’m gonna be sitting back, sipping on some Full Moon Roast from Heart roasters.

Pretty stoked to get down with this, mostly because it’s coffee, but also because Full Moon is going to be wicked good. You can tell by the packaging in which it arrived:


But, more importantly, I want to speak to the owner of these women’s size 9 Asics. “What’s going on, mama? Where you taking feet that size? Put ’em up here and let me rub those pups. Maybe paint your nails.”

Actually, that’s gross.

2rd Headwear

Summer’s set to be here before you know it, right? You got something to cover up that baldspot? That’s not really a concern of mine, but here’s something that is. MY COIF MAKER, TYRANNY, JUST LEFT THE SALON WHERE SHE WAS WORKING.

I get this call, straight outta nowhere, telling me she’s out, but if it’s cool she’d like to take my contact info, so she can let me know when she lands somewhere. For sure, Tyranny, totally. But, what do I do until then? Just let this mane go? I’m already at week 4 and frankly, I don’t want to see week 7.

Pray for me.

3st Two .gifTables and a Microphone

I was shoving some waffles in my face this morning, looking at my dogs, thinking about how these MFers might need a wig-clipping more urgently than I do, when I started thinking about .gifs, or .gifs. however you say it is cool with me.

Anyway, I think .gif makers are kinda like DJs. Technically, anyone can do what they do, all it takes is a simple piece of malware, but to make great ones consistently it takes a few Gladwells.

Everything they create is sampled, but they have taken just a moment from a piece of art and chopped it into its own, free-standing piece.

And real .gif dudes are digging deep for references. Plus, the first time you see a known .gif in its natural environment you pretty much feel like Major Toht.

All that said, I think this right here is the Amen, Brother of .gifs:


But this one gets me every time:



I want a .gif of a bowl full of cigarettes being the raddest shit in the world.

4nd Let Dead Legends Lie, or Legends Never Die

I haven’t even gotten comfortable on my 2016 deck yet, and 2017 is leaking like a man on the AC transit.

And this. THIS!


Pics lifted


Broooo, I ain’t even got bindings to fit on that thing, and you can’t honestly expect me to wear a pair of Now bindings. I may have devoted 25% of this post to .gifs, or .gifs, however you say it, but I still have some dignity.

That’s how YES does it, I guess.

Die heavy, everybody.


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