2015:045 In Which We Continue to Discuss Snowboarding Trends and Celebrate the Stiff Member of El Niño

Hey-o! I got it figured out. It hit me when I was watching Skateline and Andy Roy shows up.

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How many dudes like Andy Roy did you know growing up? Assuming you busted out of high school before…say 2008 (the year it all went soft), you probably can name four or five dudes who aren’t Andy Roy, but are a lot like Andy Roy. I mean, I grew up with like 15 dudes combined who rodes skateboards or just hanged out and ripped cigs. And I can promise you, each one of these dudes fell from the same tree as Andy Roy:

  • Fat Eddie
  • Gepetto
  • Cecil
  • Vicious Paul
  • Some Dude Named Gang

That’s right, that’s a solid 1/3 of the crew. Using my scientifics, I’ve deduced that 1/3 of all skate rats was 1/1 sketchy dudes. Not once, when growing up, did I ever think of those dudes “It’s cool, it’s not like anyone is going to get killed.” In fact, you put in a scene with any of those dudes today, and I’d still be a little concerned about my well being.

When was the last time snowboarding had that dude? Sure, Heikki had a mohawk. Bozung is still hanging on. I mean, we had Billy Mackey, before his whole look just became some weird, cattle rustlin’ affectation. I’d say we haven’t seen no fuckery like this since Wittlake left the building, but then again he’s still listed on the rippers section for some ski company. It’s not great for the marketing, but goddammit, it creates a nice edge.

I guess we’ve got Halldor, who just dropped word of Atrip outerwear and apparel.


This is where I’m supposed to toss shit at any brand that comes up. But something tells me Atrip will catch fire. It may not burn forever, but it’ll flare up for a few seasons. Like living in Summit county, if you know what i’m saying (herpes jokes). HH’s has already got distribution locked up, he’s got ex-Nike money, he’s successfully marketed a line of bindings that HAVE to pack the greatest margin punch ever. THIS GUY SOLD US SHOELACES AS BELTS THEN TOOK STAN ON A TOUR OF EUROPE (which frankly he hasn’t seemed to have recovered from).

Let’s just put it this way, I can see Atrip hanging around a lot longer than Sessions 2.

I’d also like to weigh in on this Public thing the 1817 crew are hyping, with its bauhausesque logo, but it’s all very top secret. This shit better be good, because you’ve given all of us the itch, and if you come out with some crap-ass Leftovers season 2, Yeezy Boost zipper diappoint-maker, people are gonna be furious.

Also, Crockpots used to be owned by the company that made yearbooks, now they got bought by the company that makes the things I fill with a bunch of shit that I don’t want right now, but I might want in 20 years, and then shove in my attic.

That was unfair. I should have just said, ‘In case anyone cares, the Ride and K2 outdoor solutions brands still make snowboards.”

Lastly, even with DJ Khaled’s inability to hold an iPhone properly, this is impressive:


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