How did you feel when you woke up today? Did you feel good? Did you look outside and see the ground covered in snow?
That must be nice. I’m looking out my window and looking at my lawn. That’s because it’s 48 degrees here, every day. There’s no snowboarding to be had.
If you’re in the Midwest or most places on the East Coast, you’re probably feeling the same pain I am. So, I’ve compiled a list of things you can do to help pass the time until winter really does arrive.
- Ride skateboards. Madison has a new skatepark, go use it.
- Plan a trip, or several trips to mountains
- Ask yourself why you still live where you do
- Ask yourself why you still live
- Double down on Bozung’s GoFundMe, and mom’s fudge, fatty.
- Every day, wake up send a dick pic to the staff at Transworld. Then ask, “does this meet your submission guidelines?”
- Mow the lawn, because it’s still fucking growing.
- Deny climate change, again.
- Find a place to store the Vitamix, because all the counter space in this house if covered by stacks and stacks of bloggerman money.
- Learn to whittle
- Cosplay Blackfish
- Try to understand the conceptual art piece that is Donald Trump because there is no way this shit is for real.
- Avoid the Peace Park footage because it’s all over Facebook and has been for a couple weeks already.
Of course, another option is to just get away for a few days. Might I suggest a couple days hanging out with two women you turned into surrogate big sisters long ago. Then hangout in Narragansett, go to Mystic Pizza, drink a gallon of wine.