2015:015 Hot August Nights

Hold up. We’re not really doing this about some Neil Diamond jam are we? Fuck nah. This is what we have going on today:

  • What I Talk About When I Talk About Running
  • Wet Hot
  • Aging Rappists
  • MS150
  • The New Yorker
  • Campinger designs

Neil Diamond? C’mon, I’m not about to lay it down on you like that. Bloggers be coming in hard, mama.

1th What I talk About When I Talk About Haruki Murakami’s What I Talk About When I Talk About Running.

Honestly, I haven’t read this Murakami joint yet. Side note, does this qualify as a jawn? I’m still not 100% sure how to use that word. I might need to know, in case I end up in early 2000s Philadelphia hunting Toynebee tiles. So I have no idea what Haruki is talking about when he’s talking about What I’m Talking About When I Talk About Running, but I can tell you what I do know.

I’ve been struggling on the roadie this year. I mean, I’m banging down miles. But the weight is up, the speeds are down. I’m all round struggling.  So I bought some running sneaks.

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My god, those things are hideous. I straight up asked the dude at the Running Man shoes store if they had any sneaks that come in all black. “Afraid not, amigo!” was the response. So I bought the tamest pair of sploafers I could find. I suspect this color palette, which the running-industrial complex has chosen to promote, accounts for 50% of the people who don’t run. “Muthafucker, you seen them shoes? Imma stick to tennis and my Stanley Smiths.”

Now I’m into my second week running. 5 days deep. I gotta say, I kind of like it. 900% more than I thought I would. Thus far, I’m been keeping it off streets and sidewalks and running the trails of the city and state parks. I even made a playlist. I’m down with it.

2st: Camp Stories

Netflix just dropped the prequel episodes to Wet Hot American Summer. I think they did these right. Solid jokes. Filmed it like a movie and then busted it into 8 parts. Just go watch it. Then think to yourself “Fuck this Full House reboot. Fuck Arrest Development season 4”. Just because we’re in the Golden Age of Television (jerk-off motion) doesn’t mean everything is good.

3nd Aging Rappists

Since we’re talking about shit from 2001, let’s talk about Kool Keith and Princess Superstar. I once saw Princess Superstar play at the 400 Club in Minneapolis. All I wanted to hear was NYC Cunt. I can’t remember if she played it. I also can’t remember if I ever listened to her music after that. But suddenly, the other day I got Bad Babysitter stuck in my brain and it all spiraled out of control from there.

As a professional internetist, I really quickly caught up on the life and works of Concetta. Apparently this was going to resurrect her career:

There are some questionable claims made in that video, but whatever. She’s got 19,000 views. Which is like 19,000 more than anything I’ve ever done. But, I also think it’s unfair that this video doesn’t have 10 million views.

And all you MFers thought Kool Keith was dead.

4rd Back to the Bikes

Keef and I are rounding up a team for the Wisconsin MS 150 ride 2016. Let me know if you want to be on it. Better yet, let me know if you want naming rights to our squad. 10,000 gees and we’ll name ourselves The Wisconsin Fuck Boys.

5st: The New Yorkingist

This might be the best comic issue since this one. But man, July 27, just laid it down. Banger…banger… and banger:

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For real, we get a silent P joke, ChampagnePapi and some cold hard, the planet-without-us nihilism. Been laughing for days.

6st: In Which We Talk About Camping Some More

C-blast sent this part to be the last. Screen Shot 2015-08-04 at 8.58.07 PM

ATTENTION WHYTES: BY NOW YOU HAVE PROBABLY NOTICED YOU’VE REACHED YOUR THIRTIES AND HAVE A SOME SIZABLE DISPOSABLE INCOME. LET US FIX THAT FOR YOU. WE’RE HAPPIER CAMPER. WE MAKE CAMPERS.

SET YOUR SIGHTS UPON OUT OUR CAMPERS AND THEIR RETRO FLAIR. LOOK AT THOSE SWEET BABY MOON HUBCAPS. HOW ABOUT THOSE TEARDROP TURN INDICATORS? IT’S LIKE BEING IN THE 1960s AGAIN. BUT NOT THOSE SHITTY GRATEFUL DEAD SIXTIES. WE’RE TALMBOUT THE MID-MAD MEN SIXTIES WE’VE ALL OVER-GLORIFIED.

NOW LOOK INSIDE AND SEE HOW THE HAPPIER CAMPER IS COMPLETELY MODULAR. JUST LIKE THE 1960s TOLD US THE FUTURE WOULD BE, REGARDLESS OF THE FACT WE HAVE YET TO FLY A MANNED SPACE SPACECRAFT PAST JUPITER.

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YOU, AS A 30-SOMETHING WITH A MODERATELY SIZABLE DISPOSABLE INCOME OR RELATIVELY OKAY CREDIT SHOULD BUY ONE. YOU CAN PUT YOUR DUCATI SCRAMBLER IN IT. AND THEN LET IT SIT OUT, NEXT TO THE GARAGE, EXPOSED TO THE ELEMENTS, BAKING IN THE SUN AND BREAKING DOWN LITTLE BY LITTLE EVERY WINTER UNTIL YOU REALIZE YOU ARE JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER AND NOW YOU OWN WHAT IS ESSENTIALLY THE EVOLUTION OF THE POP-UP CAMPER, AND YOU HATES YOURSELF. VISIT HAPPIER CAMPER DOT COM.

7nd Lastly. 

For real though, that Ducati Scrambler is fucking rad.

2 Comments

on “2015:015 Hot August Nights
2 Comments on “2015:015 Hot August Nights
    • I hadn’t seen that machine. It’s a bit more japanese-style, which isn’t a bad thing. That also means it will be significantly less expensive and probably more reliable. I’m all for it. Are you eyeballing a sickle?

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